When will it fade?

After several months and few bitter goodbye texts, i saw him once again.
In his eyes, I know that he still do. I tried to smile as genuine as I could but I don't think it showed I just hope he felt it.

He reminded me that no matter how hard I try, once in my life I was able to hurt someone.
He taught me to speak beyond words and actions, but by distance.
He let me gone free towards my dreams and run in the race.
He understood me more than any other could.
He let me know that I mean the world to him.
He made me feel that he could go beyond the limits when it comes to me.
He acknowldge all my efforts and even stupid ideas.
and most of all, he loved the 'all' in me... but

i can't accept it and i don't know why.

I tried to love him too but I can't and I am very, very sorry for that.
and the hell I think of him right now after my conscience keep on saying I'm guilty.
I will never find someone like him again. That's what my friends keep on telling me when I was about to bust him but I still go on. And if you'll ask me, if i realized that I love him now?

I still feel the same. I'm still sorry. and. he is still in pain.
God grant him the woman who deserve him more.please.

i want to say that everything fades but then something moved me.